


for all our lives

by wolfoncaffeine



Series: brave the storm for its lightning [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - In Your Heart Shall Burn, Gen, Mild Gore, Minor canon divergence, Multiple Lavellans, POV Multiple, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-09-16 12:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16954446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfoncaffeine/pseuds/wolfoncaffeine
Summary: Vin arrives, Haven falls, and Eirlana disappears.





	1. Chapter 1

Deep in the foothills of the Frostbacks, hundreds of miles away from home, Vin finally squashed the fly that’d been buzzing around her for the better part of an hour. With a grimace, she flicked it off her arm. “Fuck you.”

At the top of a rise, she paused. Visible an hour earlier, the mountaintops were sheathed in heavy cloud which looked to herald rain.

 _At least,_ she thought, peering through the trees, _I’m almost there._

Ahead lay the ruin of a hillside — a massive hole, surrounded by spikes of stone. Directly above it loomed the Breach. And somewhere below, hidden by forest, was Haven. An hour, two at most.

The sky thundered.

Her gaze snapped back up.

The Breach shivered at its edges, then collapsed into light, roaring like an avalanche. She flinched, eyes shut against a flare somehow brighter than the sun.

When she looked again, only a faint ripple remained of the Breach, barely visible in the summer sunlight.

She stared, wondering it would simply tear open again. After a minute of convincing stillness, relief bubbled up her throat and out in breathy laughter.

* * *

Though the prevailing mood in the village was jubilation, Eirlana couldn’t bring herself to feel it, couldn’t feel anything more than weary and fleeting relief.

She watched the celebrations from a distance, rubbing at her aching hand. The act of closing a rift hurt, but sealing the Breach had been agony. Her every nerve had felt aflame — a bone-deep, searing pain which faded slower than the day and left her exhausted.

She sighed. After six months of battles and politics, and all the travelling in between, they’d achieved their primary goal, and yet hadn’t learned who was responsible for the Breach in the first place. Even if they ignored that, which they couldn’t, there were still rifts and refugees scattered across the continent, and still a piece of strange magic attached to her hand.

An assured gait announced Cassandra and, as she stopped beside her, the Seeker looked almost pleased. “Solas confirms the heavens are calm. The seal is holding. And despite the questions that remain, this was a victory.”

Eirlana hummed, gaze flicking up to the encroaching cloud, its shadow stark against the golden light. “We should hold council, decide where we’re going from here.”

“Your dedication is admirable, Herald, but it is wise to relax every so often.”

Despite her fatigue, Eirlana smiled. “Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker of Truth, advising leisure?”

For a moment, her expression seemed to war between a scowl and a smile before she huffed. “I admit, I am…committed to my work, but moderation is important.”

“A quick meeting,” she amended, “before —”

A deep, trumpeting cry cut her off.

She startled forward. “What —”

Cassandra grabbed her shoulder. “A warning from one of Leliana’s —”

The horn bellowed again. Two heartbeats later, the Chantry’s bell began to clang.

Eirlana scanned the hills, eyes darting. Haven sat nestled against two mountains isolated from the Frostbacks, so any threat must come from —

“There!” Cassandra’s hand shot out, pointing toward the main road. Faint in the dying light, a haze of dust rose above it. “An army. We must get to the gate.”

Eirlana stared at the haze, limbs as heavy as stone. An army. Hundreds, if not thousands, of soldiers. Impossible for Haven’s defences to repel or the Inquisition’s forces to defeat. The village would be overrun. They couldn’t —

“Herald!”

She took a breath, shoved her fear down, and ran after Cassandra.

* * *

The village was in chaos.

As soon as the bell began tolling, people started running — villagers panicking and aimless, Inquisition agents trying to prepare defences amidst them. Parents screamed for children, soldiers for sandbags and swords.

Hoping to find someone who could point her to Eirlana, Vin had just stepped inside the crowded tavern when the horn blew. The wall of noise had fallen immediately as everyone stilled, shock plain on nearly every face. Then a qunari jumped to his feet and made for the door, followed by all of those at his table, and everyone else leaped into motion.

Now, Vin ran through the village — back to the gates, where someone, _anyone_ , had to be in charge of the defence — darting around agents and villagers, and scanning all the while for a crown of red hair.

Her fear spiked when she saw the gates swung wide, then settled when rank upon rank of Inquisition soldiers marched through. She followed them out, then cursed.

In the scant minutes since it’d been spotted, the attacking army had already reached the valley floor. Above, rising dust thinned the light and blurred those soldiers into a single, pulsing mass.

She edged around the gathering soldiers, who stood at attention as their commander issued orders, and missed a step.

A dozen paces away, Eirlana faced the approaching army, standing with half a dozen shems, a couple of elves, a dwarf, and the qunari Vin’d seen earlier. Ironbark staff in hand, hair braided over her shoulder and inconveniently long as she’d always worn it, she looked the same as when she’d left all those months ago. The same, and yet different. She spoke to her companions without a single waver in her voice, and with a sharpness to her gaze. She looked, for an instant, like Deshanna.

Vin strode forward. “Lana!”

* * *

Eirlana faltered mid-word at the familiar nickname, at the familiar _voice_ , and turned.

Vin hurried toward her, mouth thin but eyes alight. Vin, bow curving above her shock of white hair. Vin, her red-and-brown garb dusty from travel.

“What….” She grabbed her shoulders as soon as Vin reached her. “What are you doing her?”

Vin squeezed her hands. “I came to join you.”

Eirlana stared — at the shadows beneath her eyes, at her brown skin freshly freckled by summer — and caught sight of the Inquisition troops behind Vin as they began to move. She pulled back. “Up to fighting?”

With a short, sharp laugh, Vin un-shouldered her bow.

* * *

Vin nocked, drew, aimed, and loosed an arrow before the charging templar could take another two steps. Feathered shaft protruding from their helmet, they collapsed.

She spun, searching for more targets, and met the dwarf’s gaze.

He winked, lowered his crossbow, and turned to shout, “Now, Snowdrop!”

Across the battlefield, Eirlana leaped up onto the trebuchet and yanked the lever.

The machine groaned, arm swinging, and flung the boulder. It slid quickly into the murk of evening.

Vin gripped her bow achingly tight.

Then the mountain roared as an enormous shelf of summer snow collapsed and sped downhill faster than she’d ever seen anything move. Trees crumpled beneath its force, vanishing in the storm of powder. In half a minute, the avalanche reached the valley floor and swallowed the army in its path.

When the snow settled and nothing moved, cheers rose. The grinning dwarf thumped Eirlana’s back.

Something screeched.

Vin jerked back, reaching reflexively for an arrow, and looked up.

Massive wings spanned the sky. Fire bloomed, laced with lightning, and streaked down as Eirlana grabbed the dwarf by his coat and disappeared.

* * *

Eirlana skidded out of her fade-step on her knees, hauling Varric with her, when the trebuchet exploded.

She cast a barrier, reaching blindingly as far around her as she could, and threw all her energy into holding it up, as pieces of the siege engine slammed to the ground.

Something swooped low above her, close enough to stir the settling dust.

Straining to hold her barrier, she raised her head.

Nearby, her companions, a few Inquisition soldiers, and Vin stood up, looking dazed but unhurt. She searched her barrier and, sensing no living trapped beneath debris and protected only by magic, dropped it.

She staggered to her feet, wincing at the hollowness in her chest. She’d drained her mana entirely. And hadn’t even managed to protect everyone.

Outside of where she’d stretched her barrier, four soldiers lay dead, crushed by debris. So many more had died earlier, guarding the trebuchets.

 _And for what?_ Peering up, she spotted an enormous wingspan against the sun. From the village screams rose. _Even with the bulk of the army gone, we can’t fight off a dragon._

Shouldering Bianca, Varric looked up at her. “We should go.”

In silence, she led the way back, grabbing Harritt on the way. Past the gates, templars waited around every corner, slowing down the search for survivors. They found Lysette fighting alone and charged in. When only dead enemies remained, the former templar led the soldiers further into the village.

With her companions covering her, Eirlana rushed into building after burning building, following cries for help through thickening smoke. She pulled Seggrit and Flissa out, but couldn’t reach half a dozen others in time. Near the apothecary, she made it to Adan and Minaeve, but not a villager who slackened with death just as she knelt beside them.

“Shit. Shit shit shit.” Her eyes burned.

Vivienne squeezed her shoulder gently, too gently. “We need to keep moving, darling.”

She swallowed, nodded, and stood.

In front of the Chantry, they found Threnn staring down more templars than she could possibly fight alone.

Eirlana charged, wielding her staff like a spear, with Bull and Cassandra at her heels.

After, she caught Solas watching her, mouth thinned with the disapproval she’d expected. She turned away, too preoccupied for the old argument or to point out that her skill in battle had improved markedly, and knocked the doors with her staff. “It’s the Herald! Let us in!”

When the doors swung open, an ashen-faced Roderick ushered them in, with the pale boy, Cole, hovering beside him.

Inside, the air hung heavy with fear and the scent of blood. Terrified murmurs and meaningless platitudes drifted over from where the villagers huddled at the far end of the main hall. The Inquisition’s few healers and a dozen soldiers moved among them, tending to the wounded and frightened.

Without a word, Solas and Vivienne strode over to help. After a moment, everyone else followed. Except Vin.

Eirlana nudged her. “Go help. I need to speak to my council.”

Vin hesitated, searching her face, then squeezed her hand and left.

At someone’s pained moan, she turned to see Roderick — robe slashed and bloodied, bandages visible through the torn fabric — shuffling, with Cole’s assistance, to a chair.

“He tried to stop a templar,” Cole said, eyes hidden beneath the brim of his hat. “The blade went deep. He’s going to die.”

Her jaw clenched. _We’re all going to die. We’ve no way to fight a dragon, or even escape one. We can’t even wait them out — the dragon’ll turn the Chantry into a giant oven with its fire._

“Herald!”

She spun toward Rutherford’s voice as he jogged over and found her own frustration reflected in his expression.

“Our position is not good,” he reported, stopping before her. “That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us. It’s cut a path for what remains of that army. They’ll kill everyone in Haven.”

“The Elder One doesn’t care about the village,” Cole broke in. “He only wants the Herald.”

She stiffened, dread coiling in her chest. _The Anchor._ Her tongue felt too heavy, her mouth glued shut. Her knees shook. _Only me._ She breathed in slowly through her nose and glanced down the hall. Vin knelt beside someone, wrapping their wound. _Only me._ “If I can distract him,” she said quietly, “there must be a way to get everyone out.”

Cole and Roderick moved at the same time, both looking toward the back of the hall.

“Yes.” Cole nodded. “Yes. There is a way. Chancellor Roderick knows it.”

Roderick stood, leaning heavily on his knees, and spoke, voice beginning to falter. “There is a path, Herald. You wouldn’t know it, unless you’d made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could t-tell you.”

She clutched her hands together behind her back. “Tell me what?”

He gestured to the back of the Chantry and described the path — a short tunnel leading to a trail which twisted up the northern mountain.

She turned to Rutherford. “If I distract the Elder One, can you lead everyone out?”

“Yes, but you —”

“Send someone to load the last trebuchet. Now. And discretely.”

“Herald —!”

She held up a hand and he faltered. “I’m the only one he wants, but I don’t doubt that he’ll wipe out the Inquisition for good measure.” She took a breath, forcing herself not to look at Vin again. “I’ll pretend to be the last evacuee, then slip off. Choose soldiers you trust to keep quiet to bring up the rear with you. And a mage to seal the tunnel.”

“You cannot go alone, Herald,” he said, voice lowered to a hiss, one hand cutting the air between them.

She lifted her chin. “No one is coming with me. Is that understood?”

His jaw clenched and, for a moment, she thought he would argue. But he merely said, “What of your escape?”

“I…I’ll find a way.”

He nodded, a salute obvious in the gesture. “May the Maker watch over you, Herald.”

She smiled, small and mirthless. “May Mythal guide you, Commander.”

* * *

With the weight of millions of tons of earth atop her, Vin hurried up the tunnel. She moved in near darkness, her way lit only by a magelight magicked to her belt — bright enough to see by, dim enough to not be blinded by. Every fifty paces, she thumped the quarterstaff she’d borrowed against the ground in a pattern. _Thump thumpthump thump thump._ Somewhere behind her, an Inquisition agent would hear her signal and give the all clear to continue moving forward.

At the end of the evacuation, Eirlana would be bringing up the rear. She’d insisted that Vin lead the way out. The Inquisition’s commander had looked uneasy at that, but whether it was her as a stranger or her going alone which was unsettling, Vin couldn’t guess.

Without even glancing at him, Eirlana had said, “Vin is one of our clan’s finest hunters. There’s no better scout.”

Now, deep in the tunnel, Vin focused on counting her strides, but couldn’t shake the sensation of weight from her shoulders. An entire mountain crouched above her, and she moved through its roots in a space so tiny she could touch the ceiling with her fingertips. The chill burned her nostrils when she inhaled too deeply, hoping in vain for the scent of trees.

At the count of fifty paces, she paused, shivered, and listened. From behind drifted the sound of the evacuation — footsteps, voices, the swish of fabric, and the scrape of armour muffled by distance into one noise, the sound not unlike wind over a desert.

From before her, she neither heard nor saw anything beyond the tunnel’s walls twisting into darkness. The old man had guessed the tunnel to be three hundred paces long; she’d covered two-thirds of that distance now.

“Almost out,” she mouthed and heard the sound of her lips moving in the silence.

She hurried on, resisting the urge to slap her feet against the cold stone, just to have something to hear.

At twenty-four paces, nails biting into the staff, she realized the darkness beyond her light was…lesser. At thirty-two, she could see the tunnel walls without her light. At forty-five, she could smell pine. At fifty-three, she turned a corner and the exit loomed above her.

She almost ran out of the tunnel, before remembering to step back to fifty paces and thump out the signal. Then she ran out into a forest dusted in snow.

Vin recoiled, jumping back onto dry stone, breath fogging in front of her. It had snowed. It was _still_ snowing — a bizarre summer snow, falling slow but in huge flakes, clouds obscuring the sky completely. It would slow their escape, especially as the powder accumulated. At least the snow would provide cover in turn. Maybe, _maybe_ , the dragon wouldn’t be able to track them.

She waited a few minutes for the front of the evacuation line to catch up, spoke with the Nightingale, and set off again — at a shorter distance ahead than before, so the sound of her cooing signal would carry far enough through the snow-muffled trees.

In silence, in the piling snow, in her hastily unpacked boots hastily swathed in oiled wrappings in an effort to keep her feet dry, she hiked. The path, overgrown by grass and thistle, was at least marked by stone posts. She followed it up toward a ridge, as the wind rose and the grey light dimmed to blue.

Eventually, the trees stunted and thinned, then gave way all together to a barren, snowy slope at a final slab of stone.

Again, she waited, shivering, staring into the swirling snow, staring toward Haven though she couldn’t see it, and wondered if the howling wind hid the sound of a dragon’s beating wings.

Soon, the front of evacuation emerged from the snow. A magelight hovered at the leader’s shoulder; perhaps a dozen people-shaped silhouettes down the line, just visible through the snow, was the next light.

As people arrived and huddled beneath the sheltering trees, Vin unstrung her bow and watched. She caught sight of the qunari’s horns, unmistakeable even in the gloom, and the crossbow-wielding dwarf walking with the young elven archer. Mages distributed themselves among the evacuees, holding up balls of flame for warmth or casting spells to heal the wounded. The Nightingale sent pairs of scouts off to watch for signs of pursuit, as well as to secure their escape route.

Vin watched and waited.

When the evacuation line tapered off, she straightened, peering back down the trail. As soon as Eirlana and the rear guard arrived, they could move on and leave the exposed slope behind.

A couple excruciatingly-long minutes passed before several shadows appeared out of the snow-haze.

Vin sighed, shoulders loosening, then frowned. None of them moved like Eirlana. Maybe she was behind, out of sight.

She held her breath as the shadows resolved into people — the commander, two soldiers, a mage, and no one else.

Trying to ignore the awful clench in her chest, she stepped forward.

The commander turned toward her and she froze, dumbstruck, at his miserable expression.

“Lavellan —”

She lunged at him. Someone caught her before she slammed into him and hauled her back a step. She yanked free, only to have both arms pinned at her back. She thrashed, heedless of the pain.

“What have you done?!”

He opened his mouth, closed it, and looked away.

She strained forward. “Where is she?!”

“The Herald stayed behind, to buy us time.”

“And you just left her?”

His gaze swung back to hers. “Those were her orders.”

“Why didn’t _you_ stay?” she snarled. “What kind of commander leaves _anyone_ behind?”

He flinched, guilt flashing in his eyes.

“It was her idea.”

Vin whipped toward the voice and found a shem she vaguely remembered seeing — a pale boy in threadbare clothes.

“She stayed behind,” he continued, head ducked, “because the Elder One only wants her. She has to protect everyone, dutiful and defending.” He looked up at Vin, eyes flashing through his bangs. “You know that.”

She stared, remembering the commander’s unease and Eirlana’s gaze, never straying from her. _She lied. She lied to me._

Before she could form a response, the Nightingale appeared at the commander’s shoulder and slid him a look. “I presume there is more to this plan, however ill-conceived.”

He nodded. “Now that we’re out of the way, we signal the Herald and she—” he paused, half a heartbeat’s hesitation “—triggers a second avalanche to hit this Elder One.”

“If Eirlana’s down there, _buying time_ ,” Vin hissed, “she’ll bury herself, too.”

His jaw clenched but he said nothing, merely held her gaze.

She leaned forward, arms aching. “She’ll _die_.”

“We have no choice now,” he said, voice laced with something she couldn’t name, “but to trust her.”

She shook her head, fumbling for the right words, as he turned toward a voice calling for him.

“You two,” the Nightingale ordered the soldiers, “gather the mages.”

As they rushed off, the grip around her wrists released. Vin glanced over her shoulder to see the qunari, who gaze flicked from her to the Nightingale.

“What’s the plan, Red?”

“We need to send a signal, yes? Then we must clear a path.”

* * *

Gaze flying from the templar rummaging in the shell of a cabin to her next hiding spot, Eirlana darted across the street. She squeezed herself against the unburned wall and listened for approaching footsteps. When none followed, she crept on.

The village, reduced to little more than smoking timbers, was thick with templars. She’d dodged four already, and hadn’t even reached the bulwark. And she had no blighted idea how to keep every single one from investigating the unmistakeable groan of a trebuchet turning.

_And the dragon. Why isn’t it here? If I had even a sliver of mana…._

Skirting the forest’s edge, she reached the street along the bulwark. To the left, through the thickening snowfall, she could see the village gate. To the right —

She blinked. Her cabin, and several others along the stone wall, hadn’t burned.

A minuscule weight lifted off her heart. Relief flickered, with a flood of shame hard on its heels. _I need,_ she rationalized, _all of my winter gear or I’ve no hope of catching up after…whatever happens._ She tipped her head up, deterring tears, and snuck to the cabin’s window.

Inside, she instinctively grabbed her fur cloak, but set it down to don her woollen coat and pants first. Cloak, hat, boots, and gloves followed. She glanced around, then snatched her unused lyrium potion up, uncorked it, and drained it in one swallow. Heat ignited inside her, a small scorching flame, so unlike the pleasant warmth of one’s own natural mana but immensely welcome even so.

Suppressing a hiss, she climbed back out —

And froze, staring at her footprints in the snow.

_I’m an idiot._

A whistle cut the quiet.

 _No. No, I can’t die here. I promised Vin, so I can’t. I can’t —_ She inhaled sharply through her nose, allowing the cold to shock her.

She settled her breathing, then magicked a lightning mine onto the ground where its shape disappeared beneath the snow, hurried to the intersecting street, and fade-stepped across.

Movement flashed at the edge of her vision.

She rematerialized between the scorched palisade and the bulwark and crouched in the bushes. The trebuchet stood at the top of a low rise, about a hundred feet away and hidden by the snowfall. Something else — templars, a rift, the blighted dragon itself — could be waiting up there.

Another whistle. A bellow — “Find her!”

She risked a glance behind, then bounded forward.

Her mine triggered, its released energy cracking against her awareness, heartbeats before the trebuchet loomed into view.

Anxiety urging her to run, she forced herself to stop before leaving the shelter of the palisade and crossing open ground. Shaking, she cast two mines across the space between the defensive walls. A cursory scan and she ran, muffled by snow, as the shroud of twilight began to fall.

She half-slid, half-stumbled into the trebuchet. Glancing repeatedly behind her, she checked the war engine over and found it, to her inexperienced eyes, sound — undamaged, the load secure. She began to cast another mine, but thought better of it. What little mana the potion had restored could not be wasted on chance.

“O Mythal, All-Mother and Great Protector,” she whispered, gripping the crank, “watch over me now.” With a deep breath, she heaved.

Wood groaned, frighteningly loud, as she turned the crank and the engine followed, spinning a fraction on its base. Again, she pulled. Again, the engine groaned and spun.

Shoulders, arms, hands, and fingers aching with the effort, she readjusted the trebuchet, gloves slipping on the metal. She lost her grip once, tumbled into the snow, sprang shakily up, and kept turning.

The row of mines activated.

Even over the creaking engine, she heard gasping and the soft sounds of bodies collapsing in snow. Trembling, she kept turning. She didn’t have time to look. She —

Someone was behind her.

She whirled, heart thudding like a ship’s war drum, to meet steel. She squawked, lurching away, and snatched her harvest knife from its sheath.

Her attacker had a sword. _Get inside their guard, get inside their —_

They lunged at her; she twisted out of the way and stabbed, aiming for their eyes.

Steel sliced along her arm as her knife sunk in with a squelch, gore splattering her fingers. The templar jerked to halt, mouth twitching, and sagged.

She shoved the body away and did not look at her hands as she wiped them in the snow. She couldn’t, however, avoid looking at the dark ruin of the templar’s left eye after she yanked her knife out. She cleaned the knife in the snow, and her hands again, then vomited.

Some twenty paces away, bodies lay crumpled where her mines had been. With a tendril of magic, she checked them for life and found none.

She finished adjusting the trebuchet, then stumbled. Her left arm felt funny. When she touched it, her palm came away bloody.

Wingbeats.

The dragon — approaching from the lake, its body angled to fly over the village, toward where the Inquisition had fled. A surge of terror swept away everything else.

Eirlana bolted away from the trebuchet, lightning rising to her pull. Staff held two-handed, she curled her arms back and swung as the dragon fell overhead.

Lightning erupted from the tip of her staff, arced up, and hit the dragon square in the belly, knocking it sideways.

Overbalanced, she spun and stumbled as the beast banked sharply and turned its massive body around. Diving at her, its jaws opened to reveal the white-hot glow of flame.

She ran only to be cut off by a wall of fire, sparking with electricity.

_Fuck._

The fire exploded. The ground vanished from beneath her, then slammed into her shoulder with a rush of blinding pain. She gasped, unable to scream, and blacked out.

The dragon screeched.

She blinked, seeing nothing but pale blue. Then the cold on her cheeks and the heat of flames and her throbbing wounds registered. _Get up. Get up get up get up._ Breathing through the pain, she did.

From beyond the scattered flames surrounding her, something stepped into the firelight.

Humanoid but twice as tall as her, its body was a horrid blend of flesh, armour, and red lyrium. As it drew near, she recognized it for the creature that had appeared at the army’s forefront.

_The Elder One._

She glanced around, found her staff a half dozen strides away, and lunged for it.

The demon didn’t move.

She snatched her staff and bent her knees into a fighting stance.

Still nothing.

She drew on the last of her mana.

Behind, something thundered on the ground.

She whirled to see the dragon loping toward her. When its next stride would’ve crushed her, it slowed to a stop, head lowered to snarl in her face. Fangs as long as her arm slid open.

She trembled, lightning crackling on her fingertips. Some detached part of her mind noted its tattered wings, skin-and-bones thinness, and dull scales. _Oh. It’s dying._

It took another step, rotten breath hot on her cheeks, and roared.

In terror, in desperation, she screamed back.

“Enough!”

She spun back to the Elder One as a rush of magic quelled the flames.

“Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your ken no more.”

“Pretending at what?” She flung a hand toward the village. “Why are you doing this?”

“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are. What I was. Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Corypheus. You will kneel.”

“Not to you,” she snarled.

“You will resist. You will always resist. It matters not.” He lifted one hand, revealing an orb, enveloped in ripple-like rings. With a metallic clang, it began to glow red. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.” He raised his other hand, glowing alike.

The Anchor flared, light seeping through her glove, as Corypheus pressed his will inside her marked hand and tugged.

She gasped, staggering at the pain — like her hand was being pulled apart, skin by muscle by tendon by bone.

“It is your fault, Herald. You interrupted a ritual years in the planning. Instead of dying, you stole its purpose.”

The pain doubled and dizziness crashed over her. She swayed, groaning.

“I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as touched, what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.”

The pain rocketed again, dragging her to her knees.

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The gall.”

“What — She gagged, nauseous from the pain. “What is this thing meant to do?”

“It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I will always come for it.” Orb pocketed, magic withdrawing, he stalked toward her.

She sagged as the pain receded, then yelped as he hauled her up by her left wrist. Her feet dangled above the ground. She kicked at him, but he merely extended his arm.

“I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the old gods of the empire in person. I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years….”

She stopped listening, staring over his shoulder as the falling snow parted like water before a keel, revealing the northern mountain, and a pinprick of light ascended.

_Thank Mythal._

“…for I have seen that throne of the gods and it was empty.”

He hurled her away. She hit the trebuchet with a crack of searing pain and shrieked. Her vision darkened.

She curled her left hand, nails digging into the Anchor, and the magic responded with a flare up her arm. She gasped, coming back to herself. _The signal. I have to get up._ Her staff lay just out of reach.

“The Anchor is permanent,” Corypheus snarled, moving toward her. “You have spoiled it with your stumbling. I will begin again — find another way to give this world the nation and god it requires.”

 _He’s insane._ Gasping at the pain in her ribs, she pushed to her knees, then to her feet. Eyes on Corypheus, she inched toward the lever and cast a barrier over herself.

He took another step. “I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die.”

“I am not,” she rasped, “dying today.” Throwing all her weight behind the motion, she kicked the lever.

The chain unravelled, the counterweight swung, and the boulder soared.

As Corypheus and the dragon turned to watch, she grabbed her staff and leaped off. She hit the ground stumbling and ran, ribs burning.

A boom rattled the air, followed immediately by the roar of rushing snow.

* * *

Vin whipped around at the sound of an avalanche, boots slipping in the powder.

There was nothing to see but blowing snow and a line of people struggling upslope, a magelight at every dozenth shoulder.

Her chest clenched.

The rope in her hand tugged.

“Hey, we have to keep moving. Lavellan!” Someone dragged her back around and forward. The qunari. “We keep moving and find a place to camp,” he said over his shoulder as he trudged on. “She’ll find us.”

 _In this storm? How?_ she wanted to scream, but clutched the rope and followed, watching snow fill his footprints. _I need to go back. Right now. She won’t be able to find her way alone._ She tensed, ready to run, but glanced into the nothingness of the snow and faltered. _She’s going to die. She’s going to die and I’m not going to do anything?_ The sensible part of her knew leaving the group would be foolish. But it was muffled beneath the voice that repeated, _coward, coward, coward._

She rubbed her cheeks, stinging from the cold despite the scarf wrapped about her head. Again and again, she heard Eirlana assign her to be lead scout. Again and again, she heard her say she would join the rear guard. Again and again, she searched her memory for Eirlana’s tells — clenched fists or shifting feet — and found none. _Why didn’t I realize? I should’ve realized. There must’ve been something and I missed it. Fuck shit damnit._   _I could’ve stayed and helped. Why didn’t she ask? Why doesn’t she ever ask?_

She stumbled when the ground levelled and looked up.

They’d reached the top of the pass.

Still walking, she twisted at the waist and stared into the storm, trying to see anything else, any sign of her, any reason to plunge back down the mountain.

_Coward, coward, coward._

* * *

Between one stride and the next, the earth disappeared. Eirlana plummeted into darkness, stomach lurching horribly, and smacked into something. Her barrier collapsed as she bounced off it. Another instant of falling and she hit something else. Blazing pain lanced up her ribs —


	2. Chapter 2

In the blinding storm, the Inquisition crossed a valley west of Haven, then climbed into another before finally stumbling to a halt. With tents scavenged before evacuating, they set up camp amidst a cluster of pines. Wind tore through the sheltering glade, bending the trees at unnerving angles.

Vin stood at the edge, staring into the dark.

* * *

Eirlana woke to bitter cold and darkness brightened a shade from absolute by the Anchor’s glow. Vaguely, she remembered falling.

Hesitantly, she moved her fingers and arms a little, then her toes and legs. Her limbs hurt, right shoulder and left arm particularly, but nothing felt broken. The gash on her arm had clotted. She prodded gently at her head — no blood, no pain. Relieved, she sat up.

Or tried to. She gasped, right ribs burning, and collapsed to the cold stone. _Right._

A kernel of potion-given mana remained. Enough to heal her ribs, maybe.

With a thread of magic, she counted four cracks and, hand pressed to her side, started mending.

It was slow process. She had to heal them one at time, portioning her mana to avoid using a sliver more than necessary. Even so, her thoughts ran like a current.

 _Corypheus said I interrupted some ritual, stole the Anchor from him. If he’s not lying…is the Breach truly my doing, whatever I intended? Did I kill all those people? And everyone who died today?_ The hole in her memory yawned wide — a darkness eclipsing everything from eavesdropping in the temple to waking to snarled accusations. _What would’ve happened if he’d completed his ritual?_

The final crack in her ribs sealed and her magic vanished.

Guilt pushed aside, she sat up, a small ache telling her excessive stress would reopen the cracks.

By gods-blessed miracle, her staff lay beside her. She stared at the ironbark for a moment before grabbing it.

Creeping by the Anchor’s light, she moved in an ever-widening spiral until she found a low tunnel, its height and width too consistent to be natural.

_It must lead somewhere._

It lead into a snowstorm.

Somewhere behind the storm shone Thedas’ moons, providing enough light to see that whatever landscape lay out there was swallowed entirely by snow. Wind-whipped snow stung her cheeks as she stood at the edge of the tunnel.

 _I’ll die out there._ At her feet snow drifted inside, already a bank as high as her calves. _I’ll die if I stay here._

She glanced back and forth again and again between her options, hands twisting and untwisting her cloak, taking a few steps in either direction before retreating. Finally, she sank to a crouch, head in her hands, and moaned.

 _I have to go. I have to try. I have to. Get up. Get up. Get up get up get up get up get up._ When her legs refused to unbend, she tried another tact. _Dorian called me a leader, which means I have a duty unfulfilled. Whether or not I caused this. I owe it to every person who died today. I owe it to every person who survived._

Trembling, before she could hesitate again, she lurched up and out into the storm.

* * *

Huddled on the leeward side of a tree, Vin shivered in her borrowed cloak and remembered again Eirlana issuing orders, hard as ice and unflinching, in the dim Chantry light. She’d lied without blinking, then turned to direct the evacuation without even a flicker of doubt or fear.

 _Six months. Only six months away and she changed so much. Enough to lie to me and hide it. To trick me into leaving her behind._ She hugged herself. _She could’ve asked. I could’ve helped. Maybe she thought…._

She slumped against the tree. _She lied. And I believed her._

* * *

Cloak cinched tight around her, Eirlana trudged through the snow, her focus entirely on walking in a straight line. She’d heard a few stories of people lost in storms, who lost their senses of direction staring into the whiteout and walked in circles until the weather passed. She’d heard far more stories of someone waiting in camp for a companion to return, only to find them later, frozen dead mere steps from their tent.

So she stared at the snow a couple paces in front of her and never looked up.

Of course her sense of direction had been lost from the start, with no moons or mountains visible. Her only consolation was that she hadn’t stumbled upon Haven. Though she could’ve passed within ten feet of the main gate and never known, or whatever was left after the avalanche.

_Don’t think about that. Just keep moving._

She took another step and fell face-first into the snow.

Sputtering, she jerked her head up, face plastered with snow. The wind tore at her exposed skin. She tried to push up from the powder and it gave way with little more resistance than water. She tried to gather her legs beneath her, but now the snow dragged at her. She pawed around her, hoping for a bush, boulder, anything, and found nothing. Snow fell down her collar and piled against her face.  _Entombed in snow._ At that unconscious thought, she flailed, kicking in terror and sinking deeper. The wind howled.

One foot touched ground. She launched herself up and fell on her side.

_Both feet. Both feet._

She stretched her legs, found the ground, planted both feet, and stood.

The snow came up to her waist.

She caught her breath, hands on her knees, then turned to find her tracks and found only churned snow from her panic.

_Fuck. No, wait. I was going uphill._

Shivering, she walked a few steps in one direction, back, and then in another until she felt herself facing uphill.

Somewhere in the struggle, her hat had fallen off. She brushed snow off her braid and clothes, then yanked her hood up and kept moving.

* * *

“There was nothing you could have done.”

Vin flinched, hand darting to her dagger.

Standing a pace away, the pale boy shook his head. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Then don’t sneak up on people.”

“I don’t sneak.”

Hand lingering on her weapon, she glanced at the unbroken snow behind him. “You’re not shem.”

“I’m a spirit.”

Vin frowned. Clan elves had a multitude of views concerning spirits, but Deshanna’s ‘not inherently dangerous, as is unknown being’ stood foremost in her mind. “What’d you want?”

“To help.”

Vin crossed her arms, holding her cloak tight around her. “Me?”

“Yes. You’re angry that you couldn’t catch her lie, aching that she deceived you. But it’s not because she thought you’re weak. She lied because it was the only way to save everyone, because the Elder One only wanted her for the Anchor.”

The knot in her chest tightened.

“Choosing to be a beacon ablaze in the dark,” he continued, gaze drifting, “diversion and defiance both. Trembling terrified but no one else will die. Am I enough, am I enough?”

With a chill, she remembered Eirlana training herself to exhaustion after Lien died, swathed in grief.

His focus snapped back to her. “I’m sorry. That didn’t help.”

She tried to say something, _Forget it_ or _It’s not your fault_ , but she couldn’t make a sound.

* * *

Eirlana walked, shivering uncontrollably.

The chill had begun in the tips of her ears, fingers, and toes, spread like ivy itch, and turned to aching. She’d tightened her hood and twisted her hands into the folds of her cloak but the chill crept deeper still. And there was nothing she could do for her feet, damp with sweat and snow.

She walked, dimly aware that it was hard to think.

* * *

As soon as Vin noticed the snowfall thinning, she ran back to camp.

“The storm’s passing,” she called into the command tent, hurrying by. “I’m going out to search.”

When she returned with her restrung bow and quiver, the swordswoman. the commander, and several scouts strode out, bundled in furs.

The woman tossed her a heavier cloak. “We are coming with you.”

* * *

Her fingers and ears burned. Her feet were numb. She stumbled with every step, unable to feel the ground beneath her.

Somewhere, wolves howled.

* * *

As it turned out, several passes led into the valley.

The scouts began with the southernmost, and they with the northernmost. What with struggling through knee-deep powder, climbing up took a half hour. At the top, Vin froze.

Below was a narrow and unfamiliar valley, silver-grey in the dappled moonlight and enveloped in snow: the one they must’ve crossed during the storm. There were no signs — no light, no movement, no sounds — of any life.

“EIRLANAAAAAA!”

Her scream echoed off the hills, but no one responded.

When she turned around, she caught flashes of despair in Pentaghast and Rutherford’s expressions, then rushed past them. “We need to hurry.”

* * *

First, she became aware of the cold.

Second, that her eyes were closed.

Third, that she was falling.

She landed softly, painlessly, in a puff of snow.

Distantly, she knew she had to get up, but beneath the heavy, heavy blanket of exhaustion, her limbs wouldn’t move.

She fumbled for her mana and found nothing.

 _Fuck. Fuck._ She shuddered. _Vin._

She lay unmoving, feeling the cold shift into numbness, and listened to Anchor thrum. _Gods damn this thing. If I hadn't _—__

Voices.

She jerked. _Did I imagine —_

“Herald!”

Groaning, she managed to turn her face up from the snow. “Here,” she croaked, a sound barely audible to her own ears. “Here,” she tried again.

The voices kept calling. They hadn’t heard her.

She inhaled until her lungs swelled no more and screamed.

Silence, then the whooshing sound of bodies plunging through snow.

“There!”

“Thank the Maker!”

Someone pulled her up and wrapped warmth around her.

“You idiot.”

She laughed, little more than a huff, and fell into darkness.

* * *

Once the healers left, Vin sat on the tent floor next to Eirlana’s sleeping form and dropped her head into her hands.

Despite the vibrancy and warmth now returned to her skin, all Vin could think about was how blue her lips had been when they’d found her, how her skin had stung with cold, and how the healers had flinched upon seeing her. They’d whisked her into a tent immediately and refused to let anyone else in. Vin had protested. Loudly. Even though she could easily imagine that glare Eirlana would’ve thrown her.

She’d paced outside, absent-mindedly accepting the steaming mug the commander brought her, until one of the healers emerged hours later.

 _“Hypothermia,”_ the elven mage had said, an edge cutting into his voice, _“four fractured ribs, laceration on her left arm, frostbite on her feet,_ _frostnip on her ears and hands, and extensive bruising over her left shoulder blade.”_ He’d been about to say more, but instead shook his head and stalked off.

Inside the tent, the remaining healer told her that Eirlana was healed, but so weakened from the ordeal that any additional physical stress could cause a fever or worse.

“Sylaise preserve you,” Vin mumbled before her sense caught up with her desperation. She groaned. Even if the so-called Creators were gods, which they weren’t as far as she was concerned, why would they bother listening to someone who didn’t believe in their divinity?

Unbidden, the memory of Eirlana in command rose again, planning against their defeat without a trace of fear.

 _Another lie._ Her fingers curled into fists. _She was terrified and I couldn’t see it. Even now I can’t._ She heaved in a shaky breath.

The sound of another breath drew her up.

Eirlana squinted at her from the pallet and rasped in a sleep-dry voice, “Vin.”

She grabbed the waterskin the healer had left and tilted it to Eirlana’s lips, supporting her head.

Eirlana pulled back, licking water off her lips. “Did we make it?’

“Yeah.”

She glanced her over. “Are you all right?”

“I didn’t disappear into a snowstorm,” Vin said, stiffer than she intended.

“I —” Eirlana grimaced and pushed herself up onto her elbows, then to a sitting position. “I apologize. For lying to you.”

In an instant, her anger swelled over her anxiety. “Why didn’t you let me help?”

“Vin —”

“Or anyone? Fuck, I’m positive no one would’ve said no.”

“I —”

“You always —”

She grabbed her hand. “I couldn’t risk anymore lives.”

Vin blinked, then yanked her hand away. “Why is that your decision? When other people risk their lives? How is that your right?”

Her expression hardened. “He only wanted me, and only for the Anchor. If anyone else had come with me, he probably would’ve killed them.”

“So fucking what? You’re the blighted leader! You can’t just throw yourself into battle alone!”

She swallowed, unease flickering across her expression. “As a leader, I have a duty to protect these people. My people.”

“That doesn’t justify what you did!”

“I had no other choice!”

“You’re wrong. You could’ve let someone help. Instead, you almost died.” Tears stung her eyes and she shot to her feet. Eirlana reached out, but she was already turning to flee, embarrassment, anger, and distress all tumbling together.

* * *

Eirlana watched her go. “I had no other choice,” she repeated to the tent flaps as they settled. She couldn’t have taken risk, not with that monster, who —

Who’d claimed to have entered the Fade.

She froze as the memory re-emerged, heartbeat skittering faster.

_“I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the old gods of the empire in person.”_

Was he one of _them_ , one of the magisters who’d sacrificed unnumbered lives and forced their way into bellanar’an?

_“I will begin again. Find another way to give this world the nation and god it requires.”_

“Shit,” she muttered and stood.

* * *

Vin stalked deeper into the grove of trees, crouched with her back to a trunk, and wept.

* * *

Clad again in her winter garb, dried with magic, Eirlana stepped out in the quiet, ward-threaded shelter. Testing the wards and recognizing Vivienne and Solas’ work, as well as the signatures of several Circle mages, she scanned the tightly-packed camp.

Even though it was well past midnight, people remained awake. Agents and civilians alike huddled around fires, clutching steaming mugs, whispering comforts, or staring distantly forward. Some curled in on themselves, weeping. Off to her left, away from any flames, came the stamp and shuffle of horses and bronto.

 _Too few tents,_ she realized, counting those visible. Bolstered by Inquisition recruits and pilgrims, Haven’s population had nearly tripled to just shy of a thousand. Not half that survived, judging by the camp’s size.

Trying, and failing, to skirt around her guilt, Eirlana strode forward.

As she neared a fire, someone glanced up, eyes widening when they recognized her, and nudged their companion. In a moment, a dozen gazes had settled on her, expectant.

She hesitated, unsure of what she could possibly say, then stepped forward. “Hello.” No sooner had she knelt before someone grabbed her hands.

“You saved us.”

“Thank the Maker you survived.”

“You were so brave.”

“Andraste bless you, Herald.”

She smiled tightly, murmured something appropriate in response, and pulled away.

In the few strides it took her to find the command tent, she stopped at two more fires and offered what useless words she had. People thanked her all the same, an Andrastian prayer on every tongue.

At the camp’s centre stood the command tent, which was only a tarp raised on poles. Beneath it stood the Inquisition’s council, gathered around a makeshift table and arguing at a low volume which did nothing to hide the strain in their voices.

“Another heated voice won’t help,” someone said as she moved to join. “Even yours.”

She turned to see Mother Giselle approach and dip her head in greeting.

“Perhaps especially yours,” she added.

“I need to speak with them.”

Mother Giselle laid a light hand on her shoulder. “Their struggle comes in part because of what we witnessed — our Herald stand, and fall, before a horrendous foe. And now she has returned.”

“I escaped; I didn't die.”

“Of course. And the dead cannot return from across the Veil. But faced uncertainty and grief, people may choose to hope, to believe in what they wish to be true.”

“That I'm Andraste's Herald,” she bit out.

Mother Giselle nodded. “The more the enemy is beyond us, the more miraculous your actions reappear and the more our trials seem ordained.”

Eirlana threw an arm out, gesturing to the camp around them. “You believe _this_ is ordained?”

She shook her head. “I do not mean to imply that we should be grateful for this suffering. Only that your triumphs are, possibly, a sign. That is hard to accept, no? What we have been called to endure. What we, perhaps, must come to believe.”

“I am not,” she hissed, patience fraying along with her restraint, “heaven-sent. I don’t believe in your Maker.”

“Nor are you required to. But there is more to our world than merely what is visible. The people know what they saw, or what they needed to see: our defender, mantled as the Herald of Andraste, rise again from certain defeat. Can we truly know the heavens are not with us?”

 _And what of my gods? Where does an_ elven heretic _fit?_ She wrapped her arms around herself, achingly certain of the answer. “Your scripture says the Maker abandoned you. Elven mythos says the pantheon is imprisoned. Higher powers or not, none of them are watching, while a monstrosity with an army nearly crushed the Inquisition. He will try again. We can't match that might with hope alone.” She pulled away just as the hushed argument behind her ceased.

Leliana swept from the tent, Montilyet on her heels. After a moment, Rutherford followed. None of them went far, settling into pacing. Cassandra remained inside, staring at a piece of parchment. All four looked irritated, disheartened, and weary.

Eirlana paused, anxiety welling. How was she going to break Corypheus’ nature to them? Or anyone? How badly would it affect morale, for all of the Inquisition to know that their enemy claimed to be one of those responsible for the Blights?

She shrank back. _What can I possibly offer them?_

Behind her, a voice rose, deep and melodious, in song. “ _Shadows fall and hope has fled_.” Mother Giselle stepped up beside her and threw her voice forth. “ _Steel your heart. The dawn will come_.”

The council stilled and turned toward them.

“ _The night is long and the path is dark. Look to the sky for one day soon_ ,” she sung, gaze moving steadily from Leliana, to Montilyet, to Rutherford, to Cassandra, “ _the dawn will come._ ”

Silence, and —

Leliana’s voice joined with Mother Giselle’s. “ _The shepherd’s lost and his home is far._ ”

Movement drew Eirlana’s attention away to see people approach, adding their voices to the ensemble as they came. Harritt, Flissa, Charter, a dozen others, two dozen, too many to count. “ _Keep to the stars. The dawn will come._ ” Varric appeared, not singing but watching intently. “ _The night is long and the path is dark._ ” Rutherford’s voice now. “ _Look to the sky for one day soon the dawn will come_.”

People crowded closer, filling the meagre space. _They’re watching me,_ she realized, gaze darting from face to face. Agents, civilians, Chantry members; elves, humans, dwarves: all responding to Mother Giselle’s call but coming to her. A shem she recognized as a new recruit was the first to draw near. He stopped a couple paces away and dropped to one knee.

Eirlana flinched as others began to kneel or raise fists in salute. _No._ She inhaled, catching Dorian and Sera in the thick of the crowd. _I don’t —_

“ _Bare your blade and raise it high._ ”

 _I don’t want this._ She searched the crowd again, seeing fear and hope in equal measure, and arched her shoulders back. _But that doesn’t matter._

“ _Stand your ground. The dawn will come._ ”

 _They need this. The_ Inquisition _needs this._

“ _The night is long and the path is dark._ ”

_Whatever it takes._

“ _Look to the sky for one day soon the dawn will come._ ”

When the song ended and the crowd remained, hopeful looks on many faces, she stepped forward.

* * *

Another sound rose above the wind. A voice, singing.

“ _…the dawn will come._ ”

Vin strained her ears when it vanished. Out in the valley, a wolf howled. _What’s —_

“ _The shepherd’s lost,_ ” the song continued, in two voices now, “ _and his home is far._ ”

After a moment’s hesitation, she pushed herself up from the tree and slipped back into camp, quiet at its fringes. Save firelight shadows, nothing moved as she stood for a moment, listening.

Then, snow crunching under boots, people pulled away from a nearby fire and turned for the centre of camp. _Following the song._ She trailed after, as dozens joined the flow, some even beginning to sing along. _An Andrastian song,_ she guessed, though she saw a number of elves and dwarves joining in. By the time they’d neared the camp’s centre, almost everyone around her was singing. Her ears rang with it. When people began bunching together, Vin darted around and hauled herself up into the low-hanging branches of a tree.

Crammed together, voices rising and falling in unison, scores of people knelt in the snow or lifted arms in salute, arrayed around —

_Eirlana._

She stood, glancing around, next to a Chantry mother who lead the song.

“ _Bare your blade and raise it high._ ”

Vin barely saw the unease flicker through Eirlana before her expression hardened, the same unease she’d shown earlier, and her heart lurched.

 _She’s afraid. I know that but I can’t see it._ _Since when could she lie like this?_

“ _Stand your ground. The dawn will come._ ”

She tipped forward, on verge of going to her — to do what? Interrupt? Stand with her? Her nails dug into the bark.

“ _The night is long and the path is dark._ ”

_Coward, coward, coward._

“ _Look to the sky for one day soon_ _the dawn will come._ ”

The singing tapered off, but the crowd didn’t disperse.

Into the quiet, Eirlana stepped forward. “We have a greater enemy that any of us predicted,” she said, voice raised to carry, “but that does not change the Inquisition’s purpose. We will defend _all_ of Thedas’ peoples from this threat. We will stand strong. We will stand together. We will resist.”

The crowd shifted as someone shouted, “Aye!”

“Aye!” another echoed.

“We’re with you, Herald!”

As a ragged cheer picked up, Eirlana gathered her council and the five of them retreated to the command tent.

* * *

“Are you absolutely sure that’s what he said?”

“Without a doubt,” Eirlana replied, trying not to snap at Rutherford. She didn’t quite succeed.

He only nodded, expression grave.

Cassandra scowled. “Varric claimed that the Hawkes killed Corypheus. Clearly, he was mistaken.”

“One of the Magisters Sidereal….” Montilyet shuddered.

“Corypheus may have been lying, or perhaps he only believes himself to be one of those magisters.”

She turned in her seat to Leliana across the table — or what stood in for a table, being made of crates and boards — scattered with the few maps still in the Inquisition's possession and bit her tongue. As the only one seated, she had to keep her head tilted to meet their gazes and it was starting to grate. “Whatever the truth, it doesn’t negate the power he holds.”

Montilyet added uneasily, “Power he wishes to turn towards reviving a long-withered Tevinter.”

“And unleashing a demon horde on the whole of Thedas,” Rutherford added, leaning against the table on clenched fists. When its boards creaked with warning, he straightened with a sigh.

Brows furrowed further at his reminder, his own included, and a heavy silence began descending.

Eirlana curled her fists beneath the table. “For now, we should keep Corypheus’ supposed origins within our higher ranks.”

Rutherford frowned. “You want to lie to our people.”

“What I _want_ is to avoid inciting a panic.”

“Corypheus poses a far greater threat to Thedas than what the Inquisition was reformed to face. We should disclose what we know.”

Fingernails biting into her palms, she held his gaze. “We are stranded in the mountains, with uncounted dead and without any prospects of safety. We are not revealing that our enemy is a once-Tevinter magister now twisted into a darkspawn.”

He jabbed Haven’s position on a map with a finger. “Our soldiers _saw_ that monstrosity, not to mention his dragon! What would you have me tell them when they ask?”

She breathed in and, aching feet be damned, pushed herself up to stand. A little of the tension in her shoulders eased when she no longer had to crane her neck. “Tell them,” she said, setting her voice to stone, “that we will stop him, whatever he may be. Once the Inquisition is secure again, we’ll make our knowledge public. Is that agreeable?”

His mouth thinned, but he nodded stiffly. “Yes, Herald.”

She looked at Leliana, then Cassandra and Montilyet, and received three nods. “Thank you. Send scouts to fetch the rest of our inner circle. And Vin. They should know.”

* * *

A scout found her at a fireside, a half-empty bowl of something stew-like in hand, crouched beside Varric Tethras and Dorian Pavus, as they’d introduced themselves amiably.

“Ser Lavellan, Ser Tethras, Ser Pavus. The Herald would like to speak with you.”

Albeit while groaning, the men rose without hesitation.

Varric raised a brow at her. “Coming, Plum?”

She mirrored him. “Plum?”

“Oh, don’t mind him,” Dorian said, brushing his robe off. “He’s given us all nicknames. Like we’re in a club.”

“We _are_ in a club, Sparkler. The ‘Weird Shit Happens to Us’ club.”

“‘Weird Shit Happens to Eirlana and Those in Her Proximity’ is more accurate.”

Vin blinked. He’d referred to her by name, not impersonally as ‘Lavellan’ or respectfully as ‘Herald,’ but as a friend would.

“And that’s us,” Varric replied. “Besides, names should roll off the tongue. ‘Weird Shit Happens to Eirlana and Those in Her Proximity’ does not.”

 _“My people,”_ Eirlana had said. People who’d remained despite any weird shit, who intended to fight despite an enemy armed with a _blighted fucking dragon_.

“Hmm. Point taken.” Dorian looked down her her. “Well? Ready to go find out if Eirlana learned anything from her stunt?”

_Her people._

She slurped down the rest of her food and stood.

* * *

“You’re shitting me.”

Eirlana swallowed, glancing over the assembled expressions — ranging from murderous to incredulous to horrified — and began fervently hoping that telling them hadn’t been a mistake. “No, Bull.”

Half a dozen voices started speaking at once. She latched onto Sera’s, high-pitched with fear.

“What does that make his dragon? A freaking arch-demon?”

Eirlana leaned to catch her gaze. “Just a dragon.”

“No such thing as _just_ a dragon, Snowdrop.”

She glared at Varric and he winced, perhaps in apology. “It’s nothing more than a dragon,” she said to Sera. “And a weak creature at that. It will die like anything else.”

Sera nodded, pale but steadied.

“— what does Corypheus hope to accomplish by tearing the world apart?” Cassandra asked, directing her question at Dorian.

“Other than world domination and widespread chaos? I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“But you —”

“My being Tevinter doesn’t give me any extra insight into his motivations.”

“He is one of yours,” Blackwall put in. “You can’t guess?”

“‘One of mine?’” Dorian scoffed. “Perhaps you could tell us where your southern Wardens disappeared to, since you are one of theirs.”

“That’s not —”

Eirlana smacked the table with both palms, as hard as she could, and drew herself up as every gaze swung to her. “Right now, there’s nothing we can do about Corypheus or who he is.” She leaned forward as she spoke, deliberately meeting every pair of eyes, one by one. “I only wanted to inform you all of what, exactly, we may be up against.” No one glanced away.

She looked at Vin last, lingering a moment longer on her, and when her sister scowled, she felt a rush of dismay mixed with gratitude.

“Recovering from our losses will not be easy,” she continued, straightening, “nor quick, and we cannot do it while we're vulnerable. So, first, we find a new haven.”

* * *

A half hour later, when the meeting concluded, Eirlana flipped a decade-old gesture at her — one palm turned up. Vin hesitated, then waited as the others ducked outside.

“Thank you,” Eirlana said as the crunching of boots on snow faded, not looking thankful in the slightest. Instead, she looked as she had eleven years ago, standing before the clan, head bowed, as Deshanna slipped a First’s ceremonial necklace over her head: haunted and burdened.

She huffed, crossing her arms.

Eirlana smiled, small and fleeting. “And I am sorry. It was foolish of me to go alone. But,” she continued, smile vanished entirely, “I don’t know if I’d act any differently, if I could go back. I...I may be responsible for the destruction of the Conclave, and I would —” a muscle in her jaw jumped “— I will prevent as much death as possible from here on out.”

Vin lifted her chin. “ _We_ will.”

Eirlana blinked, then nodded. “We will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Varric's old nickname for Vin, Scissors, which no longer fits into the narrative. So she gets a flower nickname too.
> 
> (Catch the Mass Effect reference?)


End file.
